Thursday, 29 July 2010

Midnight Fetish ♥

Now is almost three o'clock on Friday morning.I still feel awake.Maybe my hormones started to develop and make me super awake at night but super tired in the morning.I'm sleeping very late these days.I don't really like it.In another way,I like it too.Sometimes I don't even know whether I'm okay like before.I think things more differently compared to before.Is it a good thing?I don't think so.Things for me is just worsen and will not be better.I should learn to accept that.

Yesterday.I had finished my CTS presentation.It was okay,I guess.At least Ms.Winnie said we are okay.At least she smiled.I really ope that my hard work pays.Thanks to myself for lending Sam my ulcer medicine before,now I got it back.I was so happy.Well,there is really 好心好報 in this world.A big clap for myself.

Will be going back later.Hope that can draw more closer to Him and family.Mom's birthday is on the 31th.I still haven't bought anything.What a disobedient daughter.Will be plan something tonight.

Gonna sleeps now.Girl have to sleep *early*.Y♥.


Wednesday, 28 July 2010

I swear ♥

My room's scene:a) Y is sounds asleep.
b) The fan is spinning and purifying the air.
c)The room's light is off.
d) My laptop is on.

Alright.I really swore to myself.After this blog,practice one more time of my presentation,then hit the bed. *Yawns*
I know I am hurting myself.I always complained that I don't have enough sleeps,but actually I didn't sleep when I was suppose to sleep,and I was force to open my eyes when it's time for me to wake up.

I just hope that I can get over my presentation tomorrow which I'd worked so hard.After tomorrow,I will be kind of free.Dear Lord,please have mercy upon my soul.I know You are be with me all the time.

My Ulcer is super hurt!!!*Crying* and I badly need medicine and water.Hope that it won't effect my presentation tomorrow.

PS: I want to be happy starting this very minute.No more tears.Y.♥


I think I'm okay

I don't know what hurts me sometimes.It just hurt so much.I don't want to cry sometimes.Tears just roll down.I don't want to think too much but I can't stop my mind from thinking much.My cheek flushed with tears.I had try to stop my tears but no use,my strength is weak.Ha ha to me.

I know I have many ways to climb a mountain.Many ways to live my life.Many ways to worship God.But as the sky turn to grey,my heart just about to crack open.I did care.I hate myself for caring about you all.You all left me empty sometimes.I just want you all to be more considerate sometimes.At least one day for me.I'm hurt.It's funny when I become invisible between you all sometimes.Now my heart is empty.You all are not my fairytale.It's me who confused myself at the first time.I'm just persuading myself.

I don't want to fall to pieces.I just want to cry myself to death.Y.

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

It Hurts.

It Bored me when the same people come and cheer me up everytime I cry.It's not that I don't appreciate you all,I thank you all and love you all as well.It's my own problem.Hope I don't disturb you all.Sometime everything is so cold in me.I miss the sunshine.I miss the laugh.I miss the real smile on my face.How long could I take?I left no strength.Sometimes it do hurts.I'm bleeding and no hope for healing.

No complete healing.Everything goes wrong.I'm afraid.It seems life turns around.Standing in the dark,I'm lost.Someone come and save me.No one understand.Turn up the volume of my music and scream out loud.I am becoming a desperate "not a girl but not yet a woman".Feel like strangle myself sometimes.Feel like cutting my hair off sometimes.Feel like sleeping and never wake up sometimes.

I can't make it through everything.I am not strong enough.My faith is losing.My spirit is dying.My mind is complicated.I keep falling down.I don't want to become a fake person.I am tired of acting.When the wind blows and slowly the shadow covering me,I just want to hide,to give up.Won't somebody takes me home?Please take me to somewhere new.Nothing's going right.My everything is a mess.Good for me.Y.

Monday, 26 July 2010

Huge Sigh of Relief♥

A big relief for me now.I had finished my Adv.English presentation today.I was nervous at first,then I started to calm down when I'm into my talking.Phew,luckily I'd managed to finished it on time.A big clap for myself first.During the time when I was presentation,few of my classmates keep smiling at me and I'd no idea why they did that.But,thanks to them,my fear lost and my confidence gained.♥

Have a fun time sharing moments with Sam.♥ She is such a gift.Although sometimes she seems blur but she is cute though.I never get really depressed around her.Jokes and memories were shared.Funny that i felt relieved.Maybe I was the one who think too much.Indeed,I have.Some friends you don't have to say anything,they will eventually knew that what you're feeling.Good gracious,we have lovely time picking up the missing pieces.I love you Sam,you shall be my best "sopo" forever♥ .muahaha.

2 more presentations to go.Grrreat.I'm still struggling to come up to the water and catch a breath.I faced the cold outside and no one will said that I didn't try.Looking forward to go home again.Home,but not alone.Y.

Sunday, 25 July 2010

From Raining to Shopping ♥

Outside.Rain is pouring.The scenery is quite grey.Wind breeze.Thunder roars.Tree's waving.What a scene.

Have a warming and loving shopping night with family ex.daddy.Although only mom bought her heels and make up.Three of us kids just went there like a bodyguard.Yvonne buried her head to her iphone almost the whole trip.I have no idea how she manages to kept her head down and focus on the screen when she is walking PS without bumping into anyone.Alex and I were talking,cling mom's hand sometimes and waiting.Wait,wait, and more waiting.At last mom bought her things and we were outta there.Pheww.♥

Went cold storage for groceries then.
Spotted:Alex is promoting women's pad to Y+mom.

He said that he is a pro salesman although he never took any training.What an annoy!Aha...We talk about a lot of things when we were driving home.Something about love,letters.Hate to know that someone is madly in love with Alex.I just so selfish that I don't want a new member to add in to my family.Screw me.

Finals and presentations are coming.I have to be tough and hardworking now.Call me a nerd.Bye movies+shopping,shall see you all in 2 weeks time.Ciao♥.Y.

Thursday, 22 July 2010

Close to Tears

I found myself today.With everything around me falling apart,I'm longed for escaping.But something is pulling me back,I've no idea what is it.Fun seemed to vanished from the wild side of my little heart.I think that it is the time for me remembered who I'm really are.

True,I'm not my wallet,my career,my luxuries.I'm not the labels other people give me.I'm me.The pure Yvette I'm used to be.Good actors sometimes forget who they really are.It's time for me to remember that I'm a being of immense power and breathtaking beauty created in the image of God.♥

A part of me is bleeding;another part of me is healing.I always think that I can make through every challenge in my life.Sad but true,I'm close to failure every time.I hide underneath my blanket and enjoy the softness of it,then hug myself to sleep everyday.Sometimes it helps with my swinging mood,but other time I felt I'm a useless creature.

My peace fate is fading...and I had tried to hold them back.Y.

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

感情綫 ♥





My very own mood is swinging lately.I can't tell others my feelings.Probably happy,gray,blue,lust,maybe?craving for something?Maybe cheerful on the face but black inside?

From a shiny bright mood turned into black harden shape,just as you are drew far and far from me.Can't you see I'm trying hard to hide my pain?I had tried to ignore our problem.Don't you know that?Why did you give me the feeling that you don't care?You surely will denied whenever I talk about it.Do you really want me to get over it?Maybe I shouldn't have cared so much since you don't care.

Got back my accounting midterm marks today.I hate it.The red marks made me felt useless.63/83.Sucks.I'm sorry Yu Xiang,I think I've failed you.I'm blur like you always said.and I'm not as good as you think.I'm careless as usual.I don't really deserve an A for my SPM.I'm a failure.Don't get disappointed over me okay.

Message from Him said that letting go will make me wealthier and I must have faith inside me.I felt that actually I'm blessed for everything I had.I shouldn't have complained so much.Y.

Monday, 19 July 2010

♥Dinner at 5-stars restaurant

Weekends without Alex is kinda bored.He missed the great dinner at a five-stars restaurant on Saturday.Thanks to uncle Lim and Miss BK for treating us.The so-called brothers-and-sisters with my parents.Love five-stars so MUUCCHYYY!!!

          Dad said I could take the revenge for Holland+Germany~♥
Love my dinner dress~♥

Cam-whoring with Y~♥

The dinner was super grateful.Although I have to sit with a doctor,but still,it did not change my mood.Thanks daddy for the big prawn and you...Good mood this week because Alex is coming back~yoohoo...cheers♥.Y.

Thursday, 15 July 2010

Stay out of my life

In the middle of the night is always the time that my heart went fragile and true.One can tell lies to another.They cover themselves from people.But when the time they have to face themselves,sad but true,they just can't cheat their hearts off.

There are some secrets and pains you can only keep it inside you.Not for sharing.If you are strong enough,you can be able to come out of it;but if you are real loser,you will suffer and hurt yourself.I think I am one of the loser.Congrats to me??All suffers and pains I can only shift it to my left shoulder if it's really hurt on my right shoulder.and Vice versa,and repeat,and repeat.I'm tired.Give me a break sometime.I need strength that I never had before.A real strong strength that can pull me out of my depressed life.

In my world,as my making of movie,there are a lot of people who I can't label them "friends".You are just merely a little part of my life.I am just not into you.I won't change myself because of you.If you are not qualified to be my friend,my curtain are closing.Just get out of my life.I am only human.I need some respect and also consideration.Don't cross over my limit.I would not waste my time to play the game with you.The conversation has dried.I am not concerned with your liking or disliking me.All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.Please,im begging you now,stay out of my life!

Sunday, 11 July 2010

♥Mission Impossible♥

I think I heard the thunder outside the it going to rain??Hope not,because Alex is still on the plane...Dear Father Lord,please Bless him will have a safe and happy journey on the plane.

I am now resting aka writing my bloggie~♥ had been buried my head in the sea of acc format and questions...The words are driving me crazy...I hate myself these days for being free while actually am not.I'm giving myself to be lazy...then only I realized that I had waste my 2 nights.Haiz...I hate distractions,especially from someone I do not fond of. Screw him and myself for being so stupid.

Sometimes,seeking for my dreams is a mission-impossible.I always ended up clumsily fell down.It's freaking me out sometimes to become a failure person.Haiz...I had found my dreams and I will use all my strength to achieve them...But,dreams are always so far away,sometimes they made me suffocated in the midway when running towards them.But I know that I should continue no matter what happen.I have to continue.All I have to do is to breath-in and breath-out...then pick up my broken pieces of heart and go on without my real true feelings,like a robot.Y♥.

Friday, 9 July 2010

It's not me,it's you

I am suppose to be happy and cheerful today...I had watch the movie that I "lust" for 1week. But its you who made me's you who let me's you who let my cheerful mood all's you who ruined my day.If it's that what you want and it's your expectation,then I will said that you have won.I hope you enjoy your victory.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

The Shifts of Fortune Test the Reliability of Friends

Seriously,I felt like banging my fist to the system in's driving me crazzzy!!!I know that I'm not lady-like to talk like this(mom will definitely frown at me),but still,I feel like cursing whenever I almost bang the door and have to go back and get my card.whoofffff...

Research paper have done.Now I think I have to more focus on my studies.Micro and account,I would say I ♥ u now...slow and steady,I can move on to my life...

A friend has change.To a new life,new characteristic.I'm not saying that it's bad but still,it's kinda hard for me to accept her change.I miss the old her.I can't tell specifically how she has change but i can tell that I don't really fond of it.Did I think too much?I felt like our relationship bond had become further and further away from each other.But the other friend said that she hasn't change.I had tried to ignore it.I had tried my best.But I still had my tears rolling down when I think of this.I hate myself for being so fragile especially in relationships.Maybe I should take human com after all.=(

" Expect people to be better than they are; it helps them to become better. But don't be disappointed when they are not; it helps them to keep trying."
~Merry Browne ~

Sunday, 4 July 2010

♡Miracle quote♡

I felt grateful♡ whenever I read through this quote. I felt happier and more energize. This remind me to try and give all my best towards whatever I'm doing. My aim for now is to finished my research paper by tomorrow...Y is back with me in residence.I'm really thankful.I love her,love her ac-companion.I hope we can fight together for our best because we had promised each other.

Tomorrow is a brand new day.I will be happy.MUST.

Friday, 2 July 2010