Monday, 24 January 2011

Fairytale? Sucks.

I couldn't understand the mixture twisting inside my brain now.
I'm felling very tired after a bad bad day.
I don't feel like crying, nor smiling,nor hurting myself.
I just wanna sigh,sigh,sigh to death.
Deep inside me are all massive guilty,memories,fear.
I wanna blame others for my despairing feeling for lighter guilt.
I have been forcing myself to be strong all this while.
Just because I looked cheerful doesn't mean I'm not hurting inside.
I shouldn't be like this.
I shouldn't be emotional.
I shouldn't be jealous of her.
I shouldn't hate myself this much.
I should have broken down,and cry until my eyes become blind.
I should have continue to write,to draw,to sing my lungs out.
Memories.It hurts me like hell.
Invisible warm aching came out whenever I stared out blankly and think about it.
Good memories always hurt you the most.
Once upon a time,I shone like a princess in your eyes.
Not now,obviously.
It's surprising that angels can hurt me.
I wanna stop falling apart.
I don't wanna loose my mind.

You don't understand what I'm feeling inside.
I couldn't say out loud the words inside me.
but then you're gone.
leaving my words remain unsaid.

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Wish Me Well.

It's only the third day of my degree's life and I'd gotten emotional inside.
Everything has change.Totally change.
As L.Yv said, "Crowded bus had become a part of my life."
Heavy UV-Ray that burns my whole uncovered body,
Excessive walking,
Wasting of time waiting for the next bus if the bus missed you,
2 hours every lectures with only 5-min break in between.
seriously,I'm hating all of this.
but I guess I'll be fine.
I just need some time.
I'll survive.

No worries,am gonna be strong.
and watcha degree!!
I'm coming!♥ Y.

Thursday, 6 January 2011

Cold as Stone.

In the small uncozy bathroom.
Shivering in pain,facing the narrow wall.
Hot water poured down from the shower head,hitting hard on my bare skin.
Covered my whole moisten skin around by hot compressed steam,I never felt so relief.
Closing my eyes,I think of everything.You,you,you and you.
Silent thigh pain kills me,makes me feel like crying.
but no tears came out.
No matter how hard I knitted my eyebrows in a frown.
No matter how hard I tried to moaned in pain.
No matter how hard I bit my lips.

Shocking pains are killing me.
and my heartbeat pulsed fast,yet weaken down whenever I'd tried to breath.

Cold air slapping on my warmed body when I open the door.
It hurts,like thousand of needles.
Shivered like mad,I left the bathroom.
and head for another enduring pain.

Hot water doesn't help.
not as I was hoping it will.


Saturday, 1 January 2011

A moment like this ♥

I'd started my first day of 2011 good.The air-cond in our master-bedroom is working!! It's heartbeat had stop pulsing for at least five days,I think.When I randomly hit the ON button before I went to sleep,it works!! I would like to believe that's a good sign for my 2011.My 2011 would ROCKS!!I would be fine and I will survive!

Was having a delightful steamboat dinner at home with family!! It was so fun!Dad had woke up early this morning to buy sea-foods when I was still sounds asleep when he got back.Credits to dad!Love ya! :)

My birthday the day before had been great!Seriously,birthday wishes start flowing on my facebook wall when the clock turns 12.It's like a fairy-tale to me,made me think of Cinderella.Sexy 18 huh? I don't even felt sexy at all when I was suppose to.I don't wanna grow up.Wish that I could whine back the clock that I would be back to that innocent little girl that was still nonlegal.Wishes was like never stop.Somehow I wished they could go on and never stop.Then I had the reasons to go on.

First,kisses to Mamsie for staying up late just to wish me and L.Yv Happy Birthday.I should thank you for giving birth to us on this incredible world 18 years ago.Also,hugs to Alex for calling me all the way from Moscow just to said Happy Birthday.My,I'd missed you so much.Thanks for saying "I Love You".Can't wait for you to be back!! :) Next, A big thanks to Xinchen for making my birthday started beautifully.Thanks for the songs and the Hello Kitty cake!I'm so so touch! and I'd to start brain-storming for your coming soon birthday. Ha-ha.

Daddy brought us to have nice food in the morning.He even asked whether we wanted fast food,which normally he don't approved of,especially in the morning.Thanks Dad,love you!To avoid bad jam,we went The Curve for my birthday celebration dinner.Sushi was chosen since we had a last-day-voucher.

30th Dec 2010
Outing with the best of them four.Love y'all!My throat was so dry after screaming with you guys using the mic.Anyway,I still love to take photos in the toilet!! :p

Korean Food Fair:

PS: Never Make Somebody Your Everything, cause when they're gone, you've got nothing.