Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Live like were Dying

Thanks to Mr Alex for reminded me that my 2nd semester is nearly over.Times do flies.I started to think,what the difference between my 1st and 2nd sem.Hmmm,1st sem were innocent,fresh,and chill,maybe? whereas 2nd sem are stress,alone,and poisonous.I done everything by myself so my self-discipline skills increase,I guess...

Really feel like giving up sometimes.Life is short and life is hard.Will I get through all the difficult part??


I became very random these day...thanks to YY for this big gift...and I had found that I hate it.I hate myself for being random.I couldn't make a firm decision for a small incident.Ashamed and hate more of myself,guess what happen: I LMAO and in the end I will CMAO!!I'm so random these days and I am making super stupid decision these days...I had wanted to go on.I had wanted to stay strong.I had wanted to get over it sometimes.I had wanted this,I had wanted that.In the end things just went wrong.Totally wrong.I still the old-me.A failure.I had promised myself that no more tears are going to rolled down my cheeks,I had wanted.I'm lost,very lost.I couldn't found where am I.

To friends,Im sorry to abandon you all sometimes.I had not wanted them to happen.Trust me.Sometimes I just couldn't get hold myself from being passive.I apologize if I'd hurt someone who at least care.Please do forgive me.

To you,I really don't know what to say about you.Sometimes I hope that you can get the hell out of my life.Other times,I think we could be friends.Real friends.No furthermore relationships package.I am very frust upon you sometimes.Sorry that I keep reject you.I just don't feel like accepting.Do forgive me also,I apologize for my random behavior towards you.

To my special family,there is the superb 3 words and 8 alphabet for four of you: I LOVE YOU .I really do thank God for you all.Alex,thanks for your accompany this hols,I cherished it so much,thanks for remind me that I have to scored well although it's my no-big-deal midterm.Thanks for taking us out,do we looked like a super annoying twins sister to you??I hope not.Thanks for your change.Thanks for singing "Elmo's songs" for me when I 'm down and requested from you.Just like old times,I love you and love every minute of your attention.Yvonne,I think I said I love you a thousand times everyday,and you are the most precious sista that I cherished the most.I do care about you and keep in mind that no matter what you had done bad to me, I will still and always forgive you.I know the world is super Big and the roads are steep,but hands in hands,we have no fear right??just like we had promised: We will success when we had each other!Daddy,I always thought,will you sing "Cinderella" on my wedding day??Will you do that for me??I like to think that you will.Did you know something about me that my prince don't??Are you glad to have a daughter like me??I knew I failed you many times,but are you still,like I have hope,felt proud of me??I'm your least favorite but are you sometimes felt glad to have me??I did cared you know although I swore to myself that I don't care.I just want you to know I'm proud to have you in my life,as my dad.Mamsie,thanks for knowing how I felt every-time I'm down.Thanks for taking my hand and didn't gave up on me always.Thanks for your trust towards me though it hurts you much.You know I will make it through right??Whenever you are by my side I will find in defend for myself.You are everything to me.I just can't live without you.

This is how I felt,with nothing's fine,I'm torn.Y♥.

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Whataya Want From Me?

I really hate myself these day.HATE.Though I study CTS, I'm still sucks in making decision.I hate myself for not good enough,not smart enough and not discipline enough...

Everyday I keep asking myself to be happy and be strong,it did works at first,but now,why am I felt so disgusted at myself and felt very tired...I hate myself when I keep listening from my voice...I hate the time that I had to eat my lunch alone...I hate that I have to study alone...I hate that there is no one that take the same subjects with me...The story of my life is sucks!! SUCKS!!Sometimes I was thinking to vanishing from this earth...I hate my life nowadays...My life is like all messed up!Why am I so stress?? I couldn't breath well everyday...my hearts hurt when I think of you all...you all did disappoint me...

What exactly I'm writing this I also don't know...Life is already messing me up...Is it my problem?I really really super duper tripper quadruple hate myself...I just need a second to breath!! Y.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010


I had no idea why am I writing my blog now,loadz stuff + CTS presentation is on tomorrow and I'm still have not done anything on my speech yet.Screwed Me.

Right now,my mood is super duper frustrated.Youtube failed me,Fbk failed me,and I just got a call from my mom that said I can't go shopping with my coll-gang tomorrow.Life is so cruel.I just hate when things gone wrong.College is out of shortage today,so do the restaurant on that area.It was so hot when I went for lunch and couldn't even breath,stucked between a huge crowd.Screwed whoever made this happen.Urghhh...I'm so damn freakish frustrated!!

Just feel like lying down and listening to songs and lay dead.Miserable.Girl is tired.xoxo