I became very random these day...thanks to YY for this big gift...and I had found that I hate it.I hate myself for being random.I couldn't make a firm decision for a small incident.Ashamed and hate more of myself,guess what happen: I LMAO and in the end I will CMAO!!I'm so random these days and I am making super stupid decision these days...I had wanted to go on.I had wanted to stay strong.I had wanted to get over it sometimes.I had wanted this,I had wanted that.In the end things just went wrong.Totally wrong.I still the old-me.A failure.I had promised myself that no more tears are going to rolled down my cheeks,I had wanted.I'm lost,very lost.I couldn't found where am I.
To friends,Im sorry to abandon you all sometimes.I had not wanted them to happen.Trust me.Sometimes I just couldn't get hold myself from being passive.I apologize if I'd hurt someone who at least care.Please do forgive me.
To you,I really don't know what to say about you.Sometimes I hope that you can get the hell out of my life.Other times,I think we could be friends.Real friends.No furthermore relationships package.I am very frust upon you sometimes.Sorry that I keep reject you.I just don't feel like accepting.Do forgive me also,I apologize for my random behavior towards you.
To my special family,there is the superb 3 words and 8 alphabet for four of you: I LOVE YOU .I really do thank God for you all.Alex,thanks for your accompany this hols,I cherished it so much,thanks for remind me that I have to scored well although it's my no-big-deal midterm.Thanks for taking us out,do we looked like a super annoying twins sister to you??I hope not.Thanks for your change.Thanks for singing "Elmo's songs" for me when I 'm down and requested from you.Just like old times,I love you and love every minute of your attention.Yvonne,I think I said I love you a thousand times everyday,and you are the most precious sista that I cherished the most.I do care about you and keep in mind that no matter what you had done bad to me, I will still and always forgive you.I know the world is super Big and the roads are steep,but hands in hands,we have no fear right??just like we had promised: We will success when we had each other!Daddy,I always thought,will you sing "Cinderella" on my wedding day??Will you do that for me??I like to think that you will.Did you know something about me that my prince don't??Are you glad to have a daughter like me??I knew I failed you many times,but are you still,like I have hope,felt proud of me??I'm your least favorite but are you sometimes felt glad to have me??I did cared you know although I swore to myself that I don't care.I just want you to know I'm proud to have you in my life,as my dad.Mamsie,thanks for knowing how I felt every-time I'm down.Thanks for taking my hand and didn't gave up on me always.Thanks for your trust towards me though it hurts you much.You know I will make it through right??Whenever you are by my side I will find in defend for myself.You are everything to me.I just can't live without you.
This is how I felt,with nothing's fine,I'm torn.Y♥.