Thorny Roses.

The room have never seems this cold before.
I have never been so hurt.
Both humiliated and angry.
Believe me,
I had tried extremely hard not to scream.
My lips were frozen in great fear.
As you go on and on,
with your words like swords and razor blades,
I just shook my head and stared at you,
in disbelief.
in great despair.



As I look back,
way back way back to the moment I said I love you,
I was serious.
Were you? I wonder.
You brought me to tears every single time,
Even now.
I should have known,
that you are not the exception from any other guy out there.
No matter how hard I tried,
I can't seem to keep up to your pace.

Your words were so sharp,
and I had died a little bit inside.
My mistake,
I thought you are different from her.
I was wrong.
Past memories,
I'm all lost now.

I don't wanna feel this way.
Only 19, but tired. Very.
With nothing is fine,
I wanna get outta here.
It may hurt so much,
but I will try to hold on tight.
Y.

As my world turn.

Desire.
is the thing I mostly need now.
I need to lust for something to keep me going.
I'm stuck at nowhere,
something inside me is fluttering,
my hands is shaking,
and I don't know which way to go.

It's deep inside,
I can feel it,
but I can't tell what it is.
It's creepy,
it's tight,
and frustrating,
I wanna make a quick getaway.

Oh my,I think I'm losing myself,
it's like someone took my heart away and turned it inside out.
even swimming at night doesn't help.
I guess it's time for me to wave the white flag,
and turn myself in to Him completely.
There, maybe I will survive again.
Y.

You'll Survive.

I'm tired of everything.
Tired of being the peace-maker,
tired of faking a smile everytime,
tired of all these drama around me,
C'mon,give me a break!

Oh I couldn't have ask for more,
if only I could earn your smile,your happiness.
It's not about me,it's about you.
You're like a new-born bird,
learning to fly,
but you ain't got wings,
you tried to adapt into life,
but you failed on the way,crashed down hard,
and you got tired of your own messes,
you locked yourself into this small room, sinking,
leaving yourself to fade and hoping you will vanished outta here.
soon then,you can't even recognize yourself anymore,
cause you got nothing left to lose.

But I'm telling you girl,
turn your life around.
You still inhaling,
so it's a fresh new start,
stop caught up in every problem you have,MOVE ON!
So what if life beat you down?
just hide your loss and pull yourself back together,
face your future with self-reliance,
accept whatever you've got,
and start to build up your dreams again, from God's knows where,
you'll know if you get there,
don't ever turn back,
aim for the destination,we're all working hard on it,
Ignore those hurtful devils that would bring you down,
I'm sure you wouldn't cared less,
so chin-up,straighten your back,
then you will got yourself back again.

yours truly,
Y.

Unchained Freedom

Oh here I am,standing here,
I was alright,for awhile,
but only for awhile.

I'm scared of the dark,
I'm scared of the coldness in the air,
I don't actually remembered,
how my tears were stopped,
is it through millions of words?
or through thousands of faked smile?

It was tough standing alone,
struggling by yourself,
so so tough.
Screw all those quotes,
"Us standing against the world",
now it's just me alone,
"Me standing against the world",
standing against all the hurtful teases,
hurtful glances,
hurtful words.

There's no laughter in the air,
only silence everywhere,
the moment the elevator close,
I couldn't control myself,
I couldn't help but starring at your back,
crying silently.

Where do I belong?
how can I go on?
How am I suppose to live a world like this?
I really feel like burning the map,
and disappear,
escaping to anywhere but here.

I cried in the night,
I'm just trying to hold on,
No one can hear me,
I'm all alone.
Y.

✿TORN✿

I became very random these day...thanks to YY for this big gift...and I had found that I hate it.I hate myself for being random.I couldn't make a firm decision for a small incident.Ashamed and hate more of myself,guess what happen: I LMAO and in the end I will CMAO!!I'm so random these days and I am making super stupid decision these days...I had wanted to go on.I had wanted to stay strong.I had wanted to get over it sometimes.I had wanted this,I had wanted that.In the end things just went wrong.Totally wrong.I still the old-me.A failure.I had promised myself that no more tears are going to rolled down my cheeks,I had wanted.I'm lost,very lost.I couldn't found where am I.



To friends,Im sorry to abandon you all sometimes.I had not wanted them to happen.Trust me.Sometimes I just couldn't get hold myself from being passive.I apologize if I'd hurt someone who at least care.Please do forgive me.

To you,I really don't know what to say about you.Sometimes I hope that you can get the hell out of my life.Other times,I think we could be friends.Real friends.No furthermore relationships package.I am very frust upon you sometimes.Sorry that I keep reject you.I just don't feel like accepting.Do forgive me also,I apologize for my random behavior towards you.

To my special family,there is the superb 3 words and 8 alphabet for four of you: I LOVE　YOU .I really do thank God for you all.Alex,thanks for your accompany this hols,I cherished it so much,thanks for remind me that I have to scored well although it's my no-big-deal midterm.Thanks for taking us out,do we looked like a super annoying twins sister to you??I hope not.Thanks for your change.Thanks for singing "Elmo's songs" for me when I 'm down and requested from you.Just like old times,I love you and love every minute of your attention.Yvonne,I think I said I love you a thousand times everyday,and you are the most precious sista that I cherished the most.I do care about you and keep in mind that no matter what you had done bad to me, I will still and always forgive you.I know the world is super Big and the roads are steep,but hands in hands,we have no fear right??just like we had promised: We will success when we had each other!Daddy,I always thought,will you sing "Cinderella" on my wedding day??Will you do that for me??I like to think that you will.Did you know something about me that my prince don't??Are you glad to have a daughter like me??I knew I failed you many times,but are you still,like I have hope,felt proud of me??I'm your least favorite but are you sometimes felt glad to have me??I did cared you know although I swore to myself that I don't care.I just want you to know I'm proud to have you in my life,as my dad.Mamsie,thanks for knowing how I felt every-time I'm down.Thanks for taking my hand and didn't gave up on me always.Thanks for your trust towards me though it hurts you much.You know I will make it through right??Whenever you are by my side I will find in defend for myself.You are everything to me.I just can't live without you.

This is how I felt,with nothing's fine,I'm torn.Y♥.