Unchained Freedom

Oh here I am,standing here,
I was alright,for awhile,
but only for awhile.

I'm scared of the dark,
I'm scared of the coldness in the air,
I don't actually remembered,
how my tears were stopped,
is it through millions of words?
or through thousands of faked smile?

It was tough standing alone,
struggling by yourself,
so so tough.
Screw all those quotes,
"Us standing against the world",
now it's just me alone,
"Me standing against the world",
standing against all the hurtful teases,
hurtful glances,
hurtful words.

There's no laughter in the air,
only silence everywhere,
the moment the elevator close,
I couldn't control myself,
I couldn't help but starring at your back,
crying silently.

Where do I belong?
how can I go on?
How am I suppose to live a world like this?
I really feel like burning the map,
and disappear,
escaping to anywhere but here.

I cried in the night,
I'm just trying to hold on,
No one can hear me,
I'm all alone.
Y.

Just When My Anger Started to Cry.

You win again,beautifully.
I lose,just like usual.
like a criminal,
like an offender,
like a sinner,
with massive guilt running inside my veins.

I put up my own defense,
I prepared my weapon,
but you've hurt me without even try,
with your sharpest words,
the battle didn't even start.

I'm the one who raise the white flag,every single time.
I'm the one who make trouble out of nothing.
I'm the one should apologize.
I smiled enough,
got freaky enough.
and I don't think I can take it anymore.
someone take me outta here,
everything is in a mess.

I tried to hide my fear,
that's why I'm being fussy,
I'm really angry with you,
but still this guilt inside me makes me suffocating,
Your ego-ness is so huge that I can't even breath.
and serve me right,
my tears can't hold when you turned your back to me,
I fell apart, crying inside me, crying hopelessly,
Now I'm all lonely as I can be.Y.

Worst Night Ever

Nightmares aren't always related to scary monsters or white-y ghosts.
Sleepless nights are,together with PMS.
I couldn't sleep for the whole night.
Hot night air made me breath even more harder.
Funny tickles and bloody pain in my stomach hits me hard,
reminded me every seconds that I'm bleeding underneath.
I never been so in pain.
I cried.
I prayed.
Still,it doesn't work.
What about my sweet fairy-tale dreams?
I'm supposed to dream about them in this hour.
Clock's ticking fast and I started to get frustrated.
No used trying to clear away your hidden thoughts.
I still can't dozed off.

It's 8 something now.
Didn't sleep much.
Mamsie can stop worrying about me having excessive sleep.Ha-ha.
Guess I should go take a chilling cold bath now.
then there goes my finals.
Aloha books,bye-bye fun!