Unchained Freedom

Oh here I am,standing here,
I was alright,for awhile,
but only for awhile.

I'm scared of the dark,
I'm scared of the coldness in the air,
I don't actually remembered,
how my tears were stopped,
is it through millions of words?
or through thousands of faked smile?

It was tough standing alone,
struggling by yourself,
so so tough.
Screw all those quotes,
"Us standing against the world",
now it's just me alone,
"Me standing against the world",
standing against all the hurtful teases,
hurtful glances,
hurtful words.

There's no laughter in the air,
only silence everywhere,
the moment the elevator close,
I couldn't control myself,
I couldn't help but starring at your back,
crying silently.

Where do I belong?
how can I go on?
How am I suppose to live a world like this?
I really feel like burning the map,
and disappear,
escaping to anywhere but here.

I cried in the night,
I'm just trying to hold on,
No one can hear me,
I'm all alone.
Y.

Is Sick. :(

My breath is hot, and I feel like my skins are burning.
My brain is in dizziness,and I cough non-stop.
Apparently,I'm sick. :'(
I've been thinking whether I caught a cold from the dirty rain last wed or,
too much fast food for the week,
I'm feeling terribly sick right now. :(
awfully sick.

Have been listening to BBC radio London for the past few hours,
British people are sexy in their accent,
Appropriate and Proper.
Wish I can speak like them.

Still feeling hot!!!
Someone saves me!!! D:

Evening Getaway

I never know my mom can be such a huge shopaholic!!!
I'd only realized this evening. More and more shopping bags were carried by us after one shop to another.
I'm the one who keep worrying about mom's purse. How funny. or maybe I should not,she has her cards. :)

I am supposed to study hard today.
I'm supposed to finish 2 chapters of my Marketing today.
but mom ruined my plan by asking me to join her for crazy shopping.
and I'd said "yes".
but I don't really felt regret or depressed. :p
maybe because of some good food and new clothes?



PS: Thanks WH for being my stats tutor again,don't laugh at my stupidness okay,haha ROLF... :) wish to see you on Christmas partay!!

Seriously,can't wait till friday,
then I am free free FREE!!! like a bird!!!

dead tired today.Gonna hit the bed soon.
0800 tomorrow? yeah I guess so.

Weaker than Ever.

Got back my Acc and adv.Eng overall marks again.Sucks.Guess I need to put a lot more effort to my study(which I thought I'd put enough).I;m not satisfied with my research paper.I worked so hard on it but in the end I'm still a failure.A big failure.Tomorrow are going to have my last presentation on micro.Grreat.I'm so not going to sleep tonight.

Why do things don't get better when they are supposed to？I'm curious.

I really hate myself these days.I guess I'd said billion times already.I know.I just can't help but hate myself more.I'm such a rotten person.I hate myself.There's this girl in the mirror, I wonder who she is. Sometimes I think I know her and sometimes I wish I did. There is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbye. When she's looking back at me I can tell...she's hurting inside.

Guess that I'm not going to blog these few days.I had to pick up my broken pieces and glue them together.Just hope that everything's going to be alright the day after finals.Y.♥

Huge Sigh of Relief♥

A big relief for me now.I had finished my Adv.English presentation today.I was nervous at first,then I started to calm down when I'm into my talking.Phew,luckily I'd managed to finished it on time.A big clap for myself first.During the time when I was presentation,few of my classmates keep smiling at me and I'd no idea why they did that.But,thanks to them,my fear lost and my confidence gained.♥

Have a fun time sharing moments with Sam.♥ She is such a gift.Although sometimes she seems blur but she is cute though.I never get really depressed around her.Jokes and memories were shared.Funny that i felt relieved.Maybe I was the one who think too much.Indeed,I have.Some friends you don't have to say anything,they will eventually knew that what you're feeling.Good gracious,we have lovely time picking up the missing pieces.I love you Sam,you shall be my best "sopo" forever♥ .muahaha.

2 more presentations to go.Grrreat.I'm still struggling to come up to the water and catch a breath.I faced the cold outside and no one will said that I didn't try.Looking forward to go home again.Home,but not alone.Y.

Whataya Want From Me?

I really hate myself these day.HATE.Though I study CTS, I'm still sucks in making decision.I hate myself for not good enough,not smart enough and not discipline enough...

Everyday I keep asking myself to be happy and be strong,it did works at first,but now,why am I felt so disgusted at myself and felt very tired...I hate myself when I keep listening from my voice...I hate the time that I had to eat my lunch alone...I hate that I have to study alone...I hate that there is no one that take the same subjects with me...The story of my life is sucks!! SUCKS!!Sometimes I was thinking to vanishing from this earth...I hate my life nowadays...My life is like all messed up!Why am I so stress?? I couldn't breath well everyday...my hearts hurt when I think of you all...you all did disappoint me...

What exactly I'm writing this I also don't know...Life is already messing me up...Is it my problem?I really really super duper tripper quadruple hate myself...I just need a second to breath!! Y.