Fairytale? Sucks.

I couldn't understand the mixture twisting inside my brain now.
I'm felling very tired after a bad bad day.
I don't feel like crying, nor smiling,nor hurting myself.
I just wanna sigh,sigh,sigh to death.
Deep inside me are all massive guilty,memories,fear.
I wanna blame others for my despairing feeling for lighter guilt.
I have been forcing myself to be strong all this while.
Just because I looked cheerful doesn't mean I'm not hurting inside.
I shouldn't be like this.
I shouldn't be emotional.
I shouldn't be jealous of her.
I shouldn't hate myself this much.
I should have broken down,and cry until my eyes become blind.
I should have continue to write,to draw,to sing my lungs out.
Memories.It hurts me like hell.
Invisible warm aching came out whenever I stared out blankly and think about it.
Good memories always hurt you the most.
Once upon a time,I shone like a princess in your eyes.
Not now,obviously.
It's surprising that angels can hurt me.
I wanna stop falling apart.
I don't wanna loose my mind.

You don't understand what I'm feeling inside.
I couldn't say out loud the words inside me.
but then you're gone.
leaving my words remain unsaid.