Midnight Fetish ♥

Now is almost three o'clock on Friday morning.I still feel awake.Maybe my hormones started to develop and make me super awake at night but super tired in the morning.I'm sleeping very late these days.I don't really like it.In another way,I like it too.Sometimes I don't even know whether I'm okay like before.I think things more differently compared to before.Is it a good thing?I don't think so.Things for me is just worsen and will not be better.I should learn to accept that.


Yesterday.I had finished my CTS presentation.It was okay,I guess.At least Ms.Winnie said we are okay.At least she smiled.I really ope that my hard work pays.Thanks to myself for lending Sam my ulcer medicine before,now I got it back.I was so happy.Well,there is really 好心好報 in this world.A big clap for myself.

Will be going back later.Hope that can draw more closer to Him and family.Mom's birthday is on the 31th.I still haven't bought anything.What a disobedient daughter.Will be plan something tonight.

Gonna sleeps now.Girl have to sleep *early*.Y♥.

xoxo.

I swear ♥

My room's scene:a) Y is sounds asleep.
b) The fan is spinning and purifying the air.
c)The room's light is off.
d) My laptop is on.

Alright.I really swore to myself.After this blog,practice one more time of my presentation,then hit the bed. *Yawns*
I know I am hurting myself.I always complained that I don't have enough sleeps,but actually I didn't sleep when I was suppose to sleep,and I was force to open my eyes when it's time for me to wake up.

I just hope that I can get over my presentation tomorrow which I'd worked so hard.After tomorrow,I will be kind of free.Dear Lord,please have mercy upon my soul.I know You are be with me all the time.

My Ulcer is super hurt!!!*Crying* and I badly need medicine and water.Hope that it won't effect my presentation tomorrow.

PS: I want to be happy starting this very minute.No more tears.Y.♥

xoxo.

I think I'm okay

I don't know what hurts me sometimes.It just hurt so much.I don't want to cry sometimes.Tears just roll down.I don't want to think too much but I can't stop my mind from thinking much.My cheek flushed with tears.I had try to stop my tears but no use,my strength is weak.Ha ha to me.

I know I have many ways to climb a mountain.Many ways to live my life.Many ways to worship God.But as the sky turn to grey,my heart just about to crack open.I did care.I hate myself for caring about you all.You all left me empty sometimes.I just want you all to be more considerate sometimes.At least one day for me.I'm hurt.It's funny when I become invisible between you all sometimes.Now my heart is empty.You all are not my fairytale.It's me who confused myself at the first time.I'm just persuading myself.

I don't want to fall to pieces.I just want to cry myself to death.Y.

It Hurts.

It Bored me when the same people come and cheer me up everytime I cry.It's not that I don't appreciate you all,I thank you all and love you all as well.It's my own problem.Hope I don't disturb you all.Sometime everything is so cold in me.I miss the sunshine.I miss the laugh.I miss the real smile on my face.How long could I take?I left no strength.Sometimes it do hurts.I'm bleeding and no hope for healing.

No complete healing.Everything goes wrong.I'm afraid.It seems life turns around.Standing in the dark,I'm lost.Someone come and save me.No one understand.Turn up the volume of my music and scream out loud.I am becoming a desperate "not a girl but not yet a woman".Feel like strangle myself sometimes.Feel like cutting my hair off sometimes.Feel like sleeping and never wake up sometimes.

I can't make it through everything.I am not strong enough.My faith is losing.My spirit is dying.My mind is complicated.I keep falling down.I don't want to become a fake person.I am tired of acting.When the wind blows and slowly the shadow covering me,I just want to hide,to give up.Won't somebody takes me home?Please take me to somewhere new.Nothing's going right.My everything is a mess.Good for me.Y.

Huge Sigh of Relief♥

A big relief for me now.I had finished my Adv.English presentation today.I was nervous at first,then I started to calm down when I'm into my talking.Phew,luckily I'd managed to finished it on time.A big clap for myself first.During the time when I was presentation,few of my classmates keep smiling at me and I'd no idea why they did that.But,thanks to them,my fear lost and my confidence gained.♥

Have a fun time sharing moments with Sam.♥ She is such a gift.Although sometimes she seems blur but she is cute though.I never get really depressed around her.Jokes and memories were shared.Funny that i felt relieved.Maybe I was the one who think too much.Indeed,I have.Some friends you don't have to say anything,they will eventually knew that what you're feeling.Good gracious,we have lovely time picking up the missing pieces.I love you Sam,you shall be my best "sopo" forever♥ .muahaha.

2 more presentations to go.Grrreat.I'm still struggling to come up to the water and catch a breath.I faced the cold outside and no one will said that I didn't try.Looking forward to go home again.Home,but not alone.Y.

From Raining to Shopping ♥

Outside.Rain is pouring.The scenery is quite grey.Wind breeze.Thunder roars.Tree's waving.What a scene.

Have a warming and loving shopping night with family ex.daddy.Although only mom bought her heels and make up.Three of us kids just went there like a bodyguard.Yvonne buried her head to her iphone almost the whole trip.I have no idea how she manages to kept her head down and focus on the screen when she is walking PS without bumping into anyone.Alex and I were talking,cling mom's hand sometimes and waiting.Wait,wait, and more waiting.At last mom bought her things and we were outta there.Pheww.♥

Went cold storage for groceries then.
Spotted:Alex is promoting women's pad to Y+mom.


He said that he is a pro salesman although he never took any training.What an annoy!Aha...We talk about a lot of things when we were driving home.Something about love,letters.Hate to know that someone is madly in love with Alex.I just so selfish that I don't want a new member to add in to my family.Screw me.

Finals and presentations are coming.I have to be tough and hardworking now.Call me a nerd.Bye movies+shopping,shall see you all in 2 weeks time.Ciao♥.Y.

Close to Tears

I found myself today.With everything around me falling apart,I'm longed for escaping.But something is pulling me back,I've no idea what is it.Fun seemed to vanished from the wild side of my little heart.I think that it is the time for me remembered who I'm really are.

True,I'm not my wallet,my career,my luxuries.I'm not the labels other people give me.I'm me.The pure Yvette I'm used to be.Good actors sometimes forget who they really are.It's time for me to remember that I'm a being of immense power and breathtaking beauty created in the image of God.♥

A part of me is bleeding;another part of me is healing.I always think that I can make through every challenge in my life.Sad but true,I'm close to failure every time.I hide underneath my blanket and enjoy the softness of it,then hug myself to sleep everyday.Sometimes it helps with my swinging mood,but other time I felt I'm a useless creature.

My peace fate is fading...and I had tried to hold them back.Y.