Sightless Fear

You claimed to me nice and honest.

Never was any doubt in you,

You are the kind of person I've not had the pleasure of growing closer to them.
I believed we once shared a pretty pleasure moment.
Did we? Did you?
There's a mask you wore, my friend,
something fake.
and it disgust me. 
Plagiarize is a sin, 
take note of it. 
Should have known when we first met,
that you are a trouble,
doing things I could never imagined.


It's a shame that we didn't last long.
You once earned my trust,
but now you have lost all my respect.
So, stay as far as you can, girl.
For my curtains are closed.

New Year. New Me.

I have never thought everything will turn out to be so magical.
Not since I received that disappointed midnight text message.
My expectations fell,
my hopes are dashed,
and I have not expected my day to be turn out like this.
There were strong anger at first,
then turn to huge disappointment.
I've tried crying, to let all my disappointment flow, but nothing seems to work.
You shouldn't have break your promises,
and I swore to myself there were no friendship between us anymore.

I picked up my unpleasant feeling and went to Shogun with my family,
Both Lil.Yvonne and I are the birthday girl so we got to dine in for free!
I was really having a fun time there.
Daddy and Mamsie cheered me up, as always.
It's funny how mamsie tried to cheer us up by saying something really sweet,
I tell you, parents are the best.
They will never leave.












Everything turns magical after our lunch,
Alex called. Saying that he'll be back soon.
My party turned out amazingly,
and I had a very great time and it's the first time I countdown for a new year with my friends.
I felt enchanting.
It's a wonderful close-down for my 2011.

Well, let's hope my 2012 will be a marvelous year,
cause I can't wait to dashed off all my resolutions.


Kiss goodbye 2011,
Kiss hello 2012!
Happy New Year peeps! :)

Thorny Roses.

The room have never seems this cold before.
I have never been so hurt.
Both humiliated and angry.
Believe me,
I had tried extremely hard not to scream.
My lips were frozen in great fear.
As you go on and on,
with your words like swords and razor blades,
I just shook my head and stared at you,
in disbelief.
in great despair.



As I look back,
way back way back to the moment I said I love you,
I was serious.
Were you? I wonder.
You brought me to tears every single time,
Even now.
I should have known,
that you are not the exception from any other guy out there.
No matter how hard I tried,
I can't seem to keep up to your pace.

Your words were so sharp,
and I had died a little bit inside.
My mistake,
I thought you are different from her.
I was wrong.
Past memories,
I'm all lost now.

I don't wanna feel this way.
Only 19, but tired. Very.
With nothing is fine,
I wanna get outta here.
It may hurt so much,
but I will try to hold on tight.
Y.

Just When My Anger Started to Cry.

You win again,beautifully.
I lose,just like usual.
like a criminal,
like an offender,
like a sinner,
with massive guilt running inside my veins.

I put up my own defense,
I prepared my weapon,
but you've hurt me without even try,
with your sharpest words,
the battle didn't even start.

I'm the one who raise the white flag,every single time.
I'm the one who make trouble out of nothing.
I'm the one should apologize.
I smiled enough,
got freaky enough.
and I don't think I can take it anymore.
someone take me outta here,
everything is in a mess.

I tried to hide my fear,
that's why I'm being fussy,
I'm really angry with you,
but still this guilt inside me makes me suffocating,
Your ego-ness is so huge that I can't even breath.
and serve me right,
my tears can't hold when you turned your back to me,
I fell apart, crying inside me, crying hopelessly,
Now I'm all lonely as I can be.Y.

Truth Or Dare?

Playing truth or dare is just like flipping a coin,
you have decisions to make.
Either side you get,you will have the other side loss.

I always have problem in making decision.
I regretted about my decisions I made almost everytime.
It's pretty horrendous.
I guess that's the reason why I always follow people's choice.
I'm tired of sinking deep in huge disappointment.
Dropping Macro?
Hope I'd made a wise choice.

BTW,thanks Chin Wai for sending us back to hostel when outside was pouring heavy rain,
although you're not willing at first. :)

Grateful cause "Today's special dinner" is Mamsie's cooking.
God,I missed good food.
Thanks you mom! :D

and a very Happy Birthday to him!!
without him,I would still be walking on a miserable path instead of stepping towards my dreams of being an accountant.
Hope you have many returns on your birthday!! :)



Aoi Teshima.Google her.
She has the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard.
Y,xoxo.

Cold as Stone.

Midnight.
In the small uncozy bathroom.
Shivering in pain,facing the narrow wall.
Hot water poured down from the shower head,hitting hard on my bare skin.
Covered my whole moisten skin around by hot compressed steam,I never felt so relief.
Closing my eyes,I think of everything.You,you,you and you.
Silent thigh pain kills me,makes me feel like crying.
but no tears came out.
No matter how hard I knitted my eyebrows in a frown.
No matter how hard I tried to moaned in pain.
No matter how hard I bit my lips.

Shocking pains are killing me.
and my heartbeat pulsed fast,yet weaken down whenever I'd tried to breath.

Cold air slapping on my warmed body when I open the door.
It hurts,like thousand of needles.
Shivered like mad,I left the bathroom.
and head for another enduring pain.

Hot water doesn't help.
not as I was hoping it will.

Goodnight,people.
Yvette.

Hi,I'm the new salesgirl,name Yvette.♥

Down Down Down.
I'm feeling super down and hyper today.
Am I too fake when I smiled at everyone and laugh at their jokes?Hope not.
I'd tried to persuade people to buy my cupcakes.
I'd tried to play nice.
I'd tried to put on a real grin.
I'd tried not to judge.
But somehow someone pissed me off.and humiliated me.in front of my friends.

Skip my following 3 line,I wasn't who I was.
*Hey fella,if you don't want to buy my stuff,then say no thanks.
There is not a need to acted like I'm forcing you to buy!
You BUGS Me!!My cute cupcakes are all so good that you don't even suit them!

But there is a sweet guy buying 4 cupcakes,2 for him and his friend,
and one for Yee Kit and another one is for ME!!! Thanks although I don't know you!!:)

This assignment made me think fast.
Made my dreams (of treating family a hearty meal using what I've earned) fade.
Made me disappointed.
Made me shouted loud.
Made me quiet in class.
the most imp,
Made me strong. :)

xoxo,Y♥

I'm not disappointed,just dis-appoint-ed.

Covering with a mask now.
Heart-breaking inside.
Something block my way.
I don't feel so well.

Struggling so hard to stand up and stay firm,
yet I'd still failed.
Dreams fade.
Things are not going the way you want them to be.

I can't take them anymore.
I'm scared,and fragile.
broken easily,easy peasy.

It Must Have Been Love

Ignore my title.
I am being a little bit high,love this songs since I was a kiddo.
It's romantic yet tragic. :(

Yesterday is a blessed and fun day.Went out with Grandma,Emily,Casey and Yvonne.Our first stop is Coffee Bean in Mid Valley.Casey GoGo have to meet some client there so we got some drink while waiting.

Me & Grandma
We got up and go shopping when we are tired of waiting.Walk around the mall and I immediately regret for not bringing much money to buy something I longed for. :(
Heels,Bags,Accessories, all were driven me crazy!!
Lunch at Food Court,nothing much except I bought grandma a korean meal.(PPProud!)
Watch a Singapore movie(don't know what's it called,something with cow,maybe?)which grandma want to watch so much.It's only an okay for me.I'm not really fond of Singapore movie.






Next stop is Low Yat shopping mall.Oh,I don't really called that a shopping mall.It's a digital mall.I hate that place.I would never ever go there again,if its necessary!! and Oh,the place was so crowded that I almost suffocated!!Mild and mild of people!! and the musics were so loud!! and and I didn't even get a lovely cute stuff there!! Hate there so much!! (please someone,ask me to cool down!)Grrr...

Jam back home.
Out Again.
With Mom.
To dinner.
We were so pissed after Low Yat and tired that we hardly spoke until the meal is over. and did I mentioned that the restaurant was so HOT?? No air-con. Suffered again.More pissed.

Pissed.Food Please...



Hey,we want desperate look... heeeheee

To Mom's school for awhile.I never been to another school at night.The dog was freaking me out.Whooofff...I hate dogs yet puppies are so cute!!

Back at home.Finished my last 2 episode drama.Love the drama. :)
Crammed Stomach and dozed off.Y♥.

I'm So Dead

Just when I thought today can be label as one of my happy days,bad news popped out.

Feeling disappointed over you.
I don't expected everything from you ever again.
Okay,maybe not ever.
But,you kinda lost my respect.
Yet you can still giggling with whoever is that over the phone.

Another thing is,
my Macroeconomics.
Might be changing my classes all over again.
I don't want that to happen!
I'm fine with my friends,lecturers and everything!
Screw You Macro!

Shredded to pieces.
Excited mood pulls off.
Depression increases.
Having a headache.
I'm so so dead. :(

Weaker than Ever.

Got back my Acc and adv.Eng overall marks again.Sucks.Guess I need to put a lot more effort to my study(which I thought I'd put enough).I;m not satisfied with my research paper.I worked so hard on it but in the end I'm still a failure.A big failure.Tomorrow are going to have my last presentation on micro.Grreat.I'm so not going to sleep tonight.

Why do things don't get better when they are supposed to？I'm curious.

I really hate myself these days.I guess I'd said billion times already.I know.I just can't help but hate myself more.I'm such a rotten person.I hate myself.There's this girl in the mirror, I wonder who she is. Sometimes I think I know her and sometimes I wish I did. There is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbye. When she's looking back at me I can tell...she's hurting inside.

Guess that I'm not going to blog these few days.I had to pick up my broken pieces and glue them together.Just hope that everything's going to be alright the day after finals.Y.♥

受了點傷

雨季好像開始很久了，我好像還沒來得及適應吧……
剛開始得開心幸福真的不會永久……
開心的日子很難，瞬間的幸福感覺都是騙人的……
只是一個影子，只是一個幻影，
如此而已。

我傷了。徹底的傷了。
眼淚已經止不住了。
就算止住了，心裏的懊惱，心上的疼痛，
好像不會痊愈了。
不管我再怎麽的擦掉掉下來的淚水，
好像永遠都擦不掉那份痛。
抽搐的時候不敢太用力的呼吸，
本來可以很好的，到底怎麽了？

親愛的你，對不起我傷了你。
我一直要保護你，可是我卻每次深深的傷害你。
你是我最親愛的，從我懂事以來，一直都是。
我疼你，我聽話，我幫忙，
這有什麽了不起，是我該做的。
你的愛，你得疼，你的支持，
都是我活在這世上最大的動力。
你的守護，你的心疼，你的保護，
常讓我安心，背後隱藏的又是一種無能的悲傷……
原諒我不敢擡頭看你，我不想讓你看見我哭紅了的臉。
我不想看見你我一直在隱藏的痛。
常常都只有你陪著我，聼我說人家不聼我的……
只有你知道我的脆弱……只有你才能了解我要的夢從來不大……
常常在你面前我不會隱藏，總是哭得最慘……

你眼淚掉了，我的也掉了。
多諷刺。
多痛。
我是壞人，根本是賤。
讓你一次一次的傷你的心。
對不起。
我不想這樣的。
原諒我沒法為你唱出你的生日歌……
我很遺憾，恨我自己……
答應我別再哭了，
我已經無能爲力了，別再讓我擔心你了，好嗎？

受過的傷，一次次的再拉扯我，
直到我心力交瘁，沒有力氣再痛了。

I think I'm okay

I don't know what hurts me sometimes.It just hurt so much.I don't want to cry sometimes.Tears just roll down.I don't want to think too much but I can't stop my mind from thinking much.My cheek flushed with tears.I had try to stop my tears but no use,my strength is weak.Ha ha to me.

I know I have many ways to climb a mountain.Many ways to live my life.Many ways to worship God.But as the sky turn to grey,my heart just about to crack open.I did care.I hate myself for caring about you all.You all left me empty sometimes.I just want you all to be more considerate sometimes.At least one day for me.I'm hurt.It's funny when I become invisible between you all sometimes.Now my heart is empty.You all are not my fairytale.It's me who confused myself at the first time.I'm just persuading myself.

I don't want to fall to pieces.I just want to cry myself to death.Y.

Stay out of my life

In the middle of the night is always the time that my heart went fragile and true.One can tell lies to another.They cover themselves from people.But when the time they have to face themselves,sad but true,they just can't cheat their hearts off.


There are some secrets and pains you can only keep it inside you.Not for sharing.If you are strong enough,you can be able to come out of it;but if you are real loser,you will suffer and hurt yourself.I think I am one of the loser.Congrats to me??All suffers and pains I can only shift it to my left shoulder if it's really hurt on my right shoulder.and Vice versa,and repeat,and repeat.I'm tired.Give me a break sometime.I need strength that I never had before.A real strong strength that can pull me out of my depressed life.

In my world,as my making of movie,there are a lot of people who I can't label them "friends".You are just merely a little part of my life.I am just not into you.I won't change myself because of you.If you are not qualified to be my friend,my curtain are closing.Just get out of my life.I am only human.I need some respect and also consideration.Don't cross over my limit.I would not waste my time to play the game with you.The conversation has dried.I am not concerned with your liking or disliking me.All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.Please,im begging you now,stay out of my life!

It's not me,it's you

I am suppose to be happy and cheerful today...I had watch the movie that I "lust" for 1week. But its you who made me sad.it's you who let me down.it's you who let my cheerful mood all gone.it's you who ruined my day.If it's that what you want and it's your expectation,then I will said that you have won.I hope you enjoy your victory.

Whataya Want From Me?

I really hate myself these day.HATE.Though I study CTS, I'm still sucks in making decision.I hate myself for not good enough,not smart enough and not discipline enough...

Everyday I keep asking myself to be happy and be strong,it did works at first,but now,why am I felt so disgusted at myself and felt very tired...I hate myself when I keep listening from my voice...I hate the time that I had to eat my lunch alone...I hate that I have to study alone...I hate that there is no one that take the same subjects with me...The story of my life is sucks!! SUCKS!!Sometimes I was thinking to vanishing from this earth...I hate my life nowadays...My life is like all messed up!Why am I so stress?? I couldn't breath well everyday...my hearts hurt when I think of you all...you all did disappoint me...

What exactly I'm writing this I also don't know...Life is already messing me up...Is it my problem?I really really super duper tripper quadruple hate myself...I just need a second to breath!! Y.

Frust+Mise

I had no idea why am I writing my blog now,loadz stuff + CTS presentation is on tomorrow and I'm still have not done anything on my speech yet.Screwed Me.

Right now,my mood is super duper frustrated.Youtube failed me,Fbk failed me,and I just got a call from my mom that said I can't go shopping with my coll-gang tomorrow.Life is so cruel.I just hate when things gone wrong.College is out of shortage today,so do the restaurant on that area.It was so hot when I went for lunch and couldn't even breath,stucked between a huge crowd.Screwed whoever made this happen.Urghhh...I'm so damn freakish frustrated!!




Just feel like lying down and listening to songs and lay dead.Miserable.Girl is tired.xoxo

Called Me A CRYING BABY+LOSER...

Moody,moody+moody……
Felt alone and stupid sometimes...life in college really exhaustic...sometimes felt like suffocating,struggling for breath...sometimes it's not fun as I thought...Girl like me are made by tears...after crying non-stop for hours,still felt like commit suicide...then will stare blankly at the wall,then fresh tears will stream down my cheeks from my stupid eyes again...sometimes I just wanna to hide under the cover and make the bad things all go away...I want to cuddle up to the corner of my bed and cry to death...but I always found that I'm still alive...(ridiculous,huh?)

Keep telling myself,FAILED is not the end of the world...but when I think of it,I will looked death and my nose started to run again...I have no confidence when come to academic...although I get 6A3B for my SPM (mom said I should proud of my results,keep telling me to be more confidence),I felt like I'm not good enough...I'm an ungrateful child...always have daddy+mommy to worried 'bout me...I hate myself for being not smart enough (unlike brother+y.sister)...I felt terrible...horrible...stupid...

After calling my mommy,tears was not fully controlled now...she didn't urged me to study,she just used her most calm voice to give me courages,told me not to give up,asked me to study hard, "You can do this Yvette,when you do it with FULL-HEART."...her voice,ever so touching and light...Felt like making my pillow flood again...

I don't wanna to be like this...I can't help myself...I can't seems to take it anymore,called me CRYING BABY+LOSER.Girl have to work hard and be confidence.Y.♥