As my world turn.

Desire.
is the thing I mostly need now.
I need to lust for something to keep me going.
I'm stuck at nowhere,
something inside me is fluttering,
my hands is shaking,
and I don't know which way to go.

It's deep inside,
I can feel it,
but I can't tell what it is.
It's creepy,
it's tight,
and frustrating,
I wanna make a quick getaway.

Oh my,I think I'm losing myself,
it's like someone took my heart away and turned it inside out.
even swimming at night doesn't help.
I guess it's time for me to wave the white flag,
and turn myself in to Him completely.
There, maybe I will survive again.
Y.

Worst Night Ever

Nightmares aren't always related to scary monsters or white-y ghosts.
Sleepless nights are,together with PMS.
I couldn't sleep for the whole night.
Hot night air made me breath even more harder.
Funny tickles and bloody pain in my stomach hits me hard,
reminded me every seconds that I'm bleeding underneath.
I never been so in pain.
I cried.
I prayed.
Still,it doesn't work.
What about my sweet fairy-tale dreams?
I'm supposed to dream about them in this hour.
Clock's ticking fast and I started to get frustrated.
No used trying to clear away your hidden thoughts.
I still can't dozed off.

It's 8 something now.
Didn't sleep much.
Mamsie can stop worrying about me having excessive sleep.Ha-ha.
Guess I should go take a chilling cold bath now.
then there goes my finals.
Aloha books,bye-bye fun!

Hello Books,from: Nerdy Yvette

I'm going to be fast in this post.I still left a lot of studies pending.
Mid-term's next week.The clock is ticking super fast.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm studying all these subjects I'm taking this sem.
Accounting was fine to me,but Intro to Management?seriously?
to be honest,I kinda hate this subject.Marketing was way too far better than management.
Geez.
I'm currently locking myself in my room since Thursday.
Alone.
yesterday,Lil.Yv was out with her mateys,ice-skating somewhere out there.
and there she goes again now,out in somewhere celebrating someone's birthday.
I'm being left alone with my cold mashed potato and my thick fat text books.

I wanna go out,shopping.
I wanna go Home.I missed daddy and mamsie.
I wanna learn how to dance.
I wanna continue reading my "Hamlet" and "Pride and Prejudice".
I wanna try making dumplings. (cause I feel like eating now.)
I wanna breath in some fresh air.
I wanna do everything that I'm forbidden to do now.
Six days to go,and I shall be "quite" free.



Someday, in future,
will someone can actually kissed away all my pain?
will someone step forward and take my hand?
will someone make me his everything?


I want someone to climb up the balcony just to have his eyes on me.
I guess I'm too addicted to Romeo & Juliet.
should go back to my books now,sigh.and...

I still want my Hamlet...(whining)Y.

Evening Getaway

I never know my mom can be such a huge shopaholic!!!
I'd only realized this evening. More and more shopping bags were carried by us after one shop to another.
I'm the one who keep worrying about mom's purse. How funny. or maybe I should not,she has her cards. :)

I am supposed to study hard today.
I'm supposed to finish 2 chapters of my Marketing today.
but mom ruined my plan by asking me to join her for crazy shopping.
and I'd said "yes".
but I don't really felt regret or depressed. :p
maybe because of some good food and new clothes?



PS: Thanks WH for being my stats tutor again,don't laugh at my stupidness okay,haha ROLF... :) wish to see you on Christmas partay!!

Seriously,can't wait till friday,
then I am free free FREE!!! like a bird!!!

dead tired today.Gonna hit the bed soon.
0800 tomorrow? yeah I guess so.

Mission Incomplete

I'm so gonna swallow up all my Malaysian Studies tonight.
and tomorrow my Macro 3 Chapters.
and Marketing 8 chapters.
and Statistics 5 chapters.
Long way to go,huh?

I'm off people.Y♥

Called Me A CRYING BABY+LOSER...

Moody,moody+moody……
Felt alone and stupid sometimes...life in college really exhaustic...sometimes felt like suffocating,struggling for breath...sometimes it's not fun as I thought...Girl like me are made by tears...after crying non-stop for hours,still felt like commit suicide...then will stare blankly at the wall,then fresh tears will stream down my cheeks from my stupid eyes again...sometimes I just wanna to hide under the cover and make the bad things all go away...I want to cuddle up to the corner of my bed and cry to death...but I always found that I'm still alive...(ridiculous,huh?)

Keep telling myself,FAILED is not the end of the world...but when I think of it,I will looked death and my nose started to run again...I have no confidence when come to academic...although I get 6A3B for my SPM (mom said I should proud of my results,keep telling me to be more confidence),I felt like I'm not good enough...I'm an ungrateful child...always have daddy+mommy to worried 'bout me...I hate myself for being not smart enough (unlike brother+y.sister)...I felt terrible...horrible...stupid...

After calling my mommy,tears was not fully controlled now...she didn't urged me to study,she just used her most calm voice to give me courages,told me not to give up,asked me to study hard, "You can do this Yvette,when you do it with FULL-HEART."...her voice,ever so touching and light...Felt like making my pillow flood again...

I don't wanna to be like this...I can't help myself...I can't seems to take it anymore,called me CRYING BABY+LOSER.Girl have to work hard and be confidence.Y.♥